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Dear future and expecting mamas out there – have no fear, it’ll be wonderful!

Being a mum is beautiful. It is breathtaking. It is a rollercoaster of emotions. It is exhausting and exhilarating at the same time. It is nothing like I expected it to be. It is so much more.

You know, I have never been the kind of woman who always knew that she wanted to have children. I love my freedom, I love to travel and I enjoy my work. I used to do pretty much what I wanted, when I wanted, with whom I wanted. And I was afraid of loosing it all. Of loosing myself. Afraid of being tied down, of my needs and desires ending up in the back row, somewhere between diapers and bedtime rituals. I was afraid of what pregnancy would do to my body. Afraid of the unknown, afraid of the change.

Then I decided to take a leap of faith. Somewhere deep down I felt the moment was right (although, honestly, one can never be truly ready). I had found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, who I knew would be the perfect father for our child and perfect partner in crime for the whole parenting thing. But it was certainly one of the most significant decisions I took in my life, because it changes life as you knew it. Forever. And what’s worse: there’s no way of knowing what expects you on the other side. There’s no taking it back. No “free refund if you’re not 100% satisfied” policy.

Now, a little over 3 months into the adventure, I can say that,

Yes, I did trade in some of my feedoms for the benefit of this little human being who just needs me so much right now. But you know what? It is actually wonderful to be needed.

Yes, priorities do shift. But it is not a painful process of letting go of things, it just comes naturally.

Yes, our daily rhythm does evolve around our son’s sleeping and eating patterns, but I don’t mind.

Yes, things do get messy, things get intense. But every time this little human being smiles at me, my heart fills with joy that outweighs anything else.

I am not saying, being a mum is easy peasy lemon squeezy (quite the opposite, actually). But it’s so worth it. This sounds cliché, I know, but it is so true. And I wouldn’t change it for the world.

So, to all future or expecting mamas out there who are plagued by doubts or fears about how their lives will change: I hear your concerns. I feel your fears.

But trust me, it’ll be just fine.

More than that. It’ll be wonderful.

Peacefully yours,

Marisa

 

How about you: What’s your experience before and after having a baby? Can you relate? Are you struggling with fears or doubts? How are you dealing with them? Any dads out there who want to share their experience?

marisavojta

6 Comments

  1. Yes, to all of that. What I will change about my way of parenting the 2nd newborn, is letting the dad do more and letting him do it the way he feels is best. With baby1 I always stepped in, jumped at every sneeze, .. So I will try find some alignement in my approach, my position, my asana😊
    Also to be able to not through my wellbeing into the backrow. Time for mama is crucial. So parenting for me is a lot about letting go. Starting with birth. Expectations, feelings, ego, .. 🙏

    • Ahhh du sprichst mir aus der Seele! I already have an article lined up on parenting and mindfulness ;))
      Also, interesting aspect you are bringing in here, how the expectations and fears change (but don’t necessarily go away) from baby 1 to baby 2.
      Also, yes I hear you, time for mama is crucial indeed 🙂

  2. 100% YOGA Geneva – Lausanne
    A little story :

    Tara was born on Friday night, at 23h09, 2960 kg and 48 cm.

    I do not resist the desire to tell a little story of this amazing birth

    Friday morning, I see the gynecologist for a check, and the cervix has not moved. She worries about a term override and advises me to walk and take an appointment to go to acupuncture next week. So I walk in the afternoon by the lake, everything seems very beautiful and I talk to the baby about all the wonderful things she will discover coming into this world.

    In the evening at supper, a few contractions, which do not prevent me from eating with appetite. I take a bath, and go to bed early, always with a few contractions, but I remain relaxed and I sleep.
    I am awake at 10 pm by the rupture of the waters. I calmly call the clinic to announce my arrival, take the time to shower, to change me, my man is preparing a sandwich (for the long night to come) and here we go … in the car, I find that the contractions are still fairly close (every 3min) and more and more painful, but I breathe on the peak, and got at the clinic (22:40), I walk up the stairs while joking with the midwife.
    She offers me to go directly to the delivery room, I change into the little dress to give birth, she Works on paperwork, and there I tell her that it is unusually painful for the beginning of childbirth.
    She suggests to me to sit on the swissball and connects me to the CTG to check baby’s reactions, heart etc.
    Soon after, I tell her that I feel the need to push … she offers to check on the delivery table (thankfully!), But immediately on the table, I feel the baby’s head to the vulva, she also sees it, presses an emergency button and tries to put on her gloves, but she will not have enough time, because with the following contraction the shoulders are out and at the third I, myself, welcome the baby under the armpits to put her on my belly.
    The CTG will have lasted 8 min in total.
    And my gynecologist will only arrive for the delivery … of the placenta.

    What I get from this amazing but wonderful experience, it’s really to trust the body that knows how to do and not to interfere too much, to keep in touch with baby (I lived my afternoon walk as a strong moment of contact that has contributed to the confidence and the speed with which it was born), and not to abuse too much of the mantra to Ganesha, know as removing obstacles in yoga, because for me it really removed them all!

    Looking forward to seeing you again for yoga with baby.

    Story from 100% YOGA Geneva-Lausanne

  3. I can relate to the thoughts you had pre-pregnancy, and it’s good that you had them, so even though, as you say, one can not know what’s out there, “on the other side”, at least you knew what you were letting go of.
    Glad your experience is such a wonderful one!

  4. “Being a mum is beautiful. It is breathtaking. It is a rollercoaster of emotions. It is exhausting and exhilarating at the same time. It is nothing like I expected it to be. It is so much more.”

    Yes, I totally agree with that! The rollercoaster of emotions is very real and so is the exhaustion. But the wonderful, unexpected, extra and plain ordinary moments filled with love make it all so very worth it 🙂

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